Beauty for Ashes: An Adoption Story
We love hearing stories about Birthmoms being loved and honored in adoption. In the story below, a Lifeline Adoptive Mom talks about her journey to adoption, the benefits of open adoption and the beauty in the relationship with her son’s birthmom.
My husband and I struggled with infertility for five years. We went through countless cycles of failed IUIs and decided to try IVF at the end of the summer in 2015. I got pregnant, but the pregnancy wasn’t sustainable. A few days after I miscarried, I felt the Lord calling me to adopt. During our struggle, I had briefly considered it from time to time but had always brushed it off and pushed forward in another cycle. But this time was different, and I spoke to my husband that very evening. Supportive as always, he agreed and I began to research adoption. I knew from the very beginning I wanted an open adoption. The Lord not only called me to adopt, he also put a love for my future birthmother in my heart that I can hardly describe. I just knew with absolute certainty, God knew who my birthmother and baby were and he was hard at work making sure all the pieces fell perfectly into place. I knew there was a woman out there who needed me. And boy… God delivers!!
My research quickly led me to Lifeline, and during our home study process, things just fell into place. We even received a random rebate check from an insurance company that was almost exactly the amount of one of our upcoming home study fees! Fast forward a few short months to February 2016- our home study was complete and our profile books were done and we were ready to be shown to birthmothers. My husband and I prepared ourselves for the long wait by getting our nursery ready. I’m glad we did!!
Eleven weeks later, I received the most amazing phone call from our social worker telling me we had been picked and our birthmother wanted to meet us!! Five days later we met our sweet birthmother. We had an immediate connection with her but was careful to let the relationship grow organically and not rush into things or force things along. We began to communicate immediately through email. During this time, and through our light conversations, she and I became friends. I told her how important it was to us that she be in our lives. Our child will always know her, her family, and will never have to wonder about his story.
Now, it’s like we are old friends. She calls me, I call her. I email her pictures and videos, send her care packages, and we see her every few months. Our time together is precious, and our love for her continues to grow. My relationship with her has been the most rewarding experience of my life.
Sam and I definitely feel like we were set up for success when it comes to ministering to Margo. The Lifeline workshop we attended was a huge asset and we STILL to this day reference the material and scripture we were given. I just feel like it gave us a much better understanding and appreciation of the birth mother perspective.
When I think of Lifeline, I think of love and support. We walked into the process scared to death and not having a clue what to expect. Our Social Worker was amazing and helped us through every single step. She was super patient and understanding. I clearly remember freaking out about the profile book. I stressed and stressed about it and I reached out to her and she told me, “Pam, don’t think to much into it. Don’t you know, the Lord has already picked your birth mother. He knows exactly who she is and he will draw her to your book. It’s not about the book!” Amazing! That was absolutely confirmed when Margo told us our book was the 1st book she looked at and she could not put it down and she REFUSED to look at any others. Look at God!
We are forever thankful to Lifeline and our Social Worker for walking us through this process!
Sidenote: Our son was born 4 days before the due date of my failed pregnancy. Isn’t God the sweetest? Beauty for Ashes!“
– Pam Tune, Lifeline Adoptive Mom